The Travel Ball/Church Dilemma (Part 2)
What can the church do to help the families gone from church almost every Sunday?
Every Spring the tension between travel sports and Sunday morning church services becomes the hottest topic. Every Spring and Summer churches and families are left with so many unanswered questions.
What do we do? How do we stay connected? How do we keep these families connected? Why are they choosing sports over church? Why does my church family seem so frustrated with me?
Regardless of your opinion about the topic there’s one thing we can all agree on: it’s a bit messy.
Last week I wrote an article with 5 practices families, who find themselves gone on most Sunday mornings, could practice in their homes to enhance their family worship and do their best to stay connected to the Lord when they are away from church.
I will admit, those practices require some significant spiritual maturity and courage to do as a family. I’ll list them here briefly.
Let your kids in on how you are processing this decision. They need to know it’s a difficult decision for mom and dad and that mom and dad may not be making the best decision, but they’re doing their best to seek the Lord on what they’re doing.
Prioritize worship in another way. Maybe it’s a playlist you’ve made for the family to worship to. Maybe it’s while you watch your church on live stream. Regardless, we end up loving what we worship and if we never spend time worshipping God together, it’s unlikely we’ll end up loving Him.
Prioritize family Bible reading. Spending time together as a family reading the Bible is important regardless of what season you find yourself in, but it’s especially important when this may be the only time your kids are exposed to the Bible.
Actually prioritize mission. It’s easy to say “I want to reach these people!” But to actually reach people with the Gospel of Jesus Christ means a lot of prayer, knowing how to share the Gospel, and knowing how to introduce faith conversations. Investing time in prayer, learning how to share the Gospel, and cultivating the faith to introduce those conversations is important.
Do your research ahead of time and find a local church in the city you’re playing in. When you travel, make it a priority long before the tournament to find a local church in the city you’re going to that weekend. Bonus points if you find a church with multiple services - this will give you a better chance at being able to attend one of those services.
Last weeks article was written to the parents who feel the tension and desperately want to keep their families connected to the Lord as they sincerely navigate the weirdness of travel sports.
Next week I’ll basically be sharing my opinions and viewpoint. As someone who played baseball throughout my youth, high school years, college, and some professionally I have some thoughts about what families ought to do with their kids and travel sports.
However, this week we’ll be taking a look at a few different things local churches (pastors and church members) can do to come alongside these families who are gone every weekend and support them/minister to them while they’re gone.
Before we get started on what local churches can do to help, let me ask this question.
How would you label the person I describe below?
Christian
Has a local church they used to go to often, but now they don’t attend a local church
Spends a lot of time with non-Christians
Often feels isolated and discouraged
Will watch a service online when they’re able
You could easily say this is a person who is living in disobedience and someone who needs to get back in church.
Or.
You could easily say this is a person who is living as a missionary in a context with no local churches and bad internet connection.
Now hear me loud and clear here, not every family that’s stopped attending church on Sunday for travel sports views themselves as missionaries. But what if we helped them think of themselves that way?
As I mentioned earlier, I played baseball growing up and then played in some pretty isolating contexts (especially professional baseball). For 6-8 months every year I was only able to go to church once or twice. I spent most of my time with non-Christians. I felt isolated and I was rarely even able to watch a service online.
And while I certainly didn’t thrive in that environment because there was still something lacking for my spiritual growth (corporate worship), I was able to thrive to the greatest degree possible. Why? Because I viewed myself as a missionary. The people back home told me I was a missionary. The people back home often asked how I was doing spiritually. They asked about my prayer life and my bible reading. They cared about the gospel opportunities I was getting to have with people and they celebrated when the one person I was able to lead to Christ, came to faith.
My point is this. The people at the ball field every weekend will spend more time with non-Christians in one weekend than most of people will all year. Jesus said it himself, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” — Matthew 9:37-38
What if the church members who are at the weekend event every weekend are the laborers God wants to send out into His harvest?
Like I said, some of these families don’t and likely will never view themselves that way. But there are several who deeply desire for their sport friends to come to faith. They want to see the broken families on the team restored. They want to see those lost kids thrive in a relationship with Jesus.
They need help.
So, how can the church come alongside them? Here are a few thoughts.
First, have an intentional conversation with them. This could be done by a pastor, small group leader, or another leader and friend in the church connected to the family. This conversation needs to be where everyone gets on the same page. Families need to communicate with their leaders on when they’ll be out and leaders need to communicate with families about how they really feel about them being out.
A healthy statement from leadership to the family could go like this:
Do I like you’ll be gone every Sunday? No.
Am I glad you have an opportunity to be around non-Christian’s in our community? Yes.
Am I excited to see some of them come to faith in Christ? Yes.
Am I committing to pray for you weekly? Yes.
Remember, many of these families who have made their choice to be on these teams have made their choice already - they will be gone on those Sundays. Having a meeting with them simply to tell them all the reasons why they are in the wrong won’t help. They won’t leave the team (because that would mean they quit something last minute) and all that will happen is they’ll feel guilty every weekend their gone and feel weird about coming to church when they can because they’re unsure how their pastors/leaders/friends feel about them anymore.
In a perfect world, families are in church every Sunday morning. But is this a perfect world? No. Our prayer is the prayer of Jesus, “Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.” (Matthew 6:10) It’s possible God wants to use these families to bring His Kingdom to a bunch of families that wouldn’t be in church even if there was no tournament — we want to come alongside them and support them if possible.
Next, view them as missionaries and provide them with missionary training. How would you train someone who feels called to the nations? What would you equip them with? How would you prepare them for the lostness they are about to encounter?
My bet is there would be some evangelism training, training on how to make disciples, and training on how to start a house church (if that’s the context they’re going to). Sure, this is mostly taken care of by the IMB if you’re within a Southern Baptist context, but what if you took the 3-4 families that plan to be gone in the Spring through some similar, more condensed, training?
What if you trained 8-10 people (including the kids) on the 3 Circles? What if all of them understood how to transition a normal conversation into a faith conversation? What if all of them knew how to do a basic Bible study with a new Christian?
Things start to change when we change how we view these families. If we think, “They’re backsliding and don’t care about their relationship with God right now.” Then we’re not going to spend time investing in them until they come back. However, if we think, “They’re taking advantage of a real opportunity to be around lost people in our community.” Then we’re going to do whatever we can to come alongside them and provide them with what they need to be successful in those opportunities.
The truth is — I would have never known I was a missionary if the guy who discipled me didn’t look me in the eyes and say, “Brandon, you are an ambassador of Christ. God has given you his message of reconciliation for the purpose of sharing the Gospel with your teammates.”
What if, in your intentional conversation with these families, you reminded them of who God has made them to be according to 2 Corinthians 5?
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
— 2 Corinthians 5:17-20
This could change their entire view of themselves and change the entire trajectory of their lives when it comes to faithfulness and fruitfulness with their relationship with God and the lost people in their lives.
One last point here in treating them like missionaries. What else do we typically do with missionaries that go overseas? We share their God stories. On Sunday morning we’ll celebrate when that person is able to finally have a Gospel conversation or lead someone to Christ. The entire congregation celebrates.
What if we celebrated these families when they have similar conversations? I think what we would see is our entire congregation start to realize that they too can live on mission everywhere they go and use every opportunity (even if it’s not ideal) to be a witness to lost people.
Next, commit to pray for them every week and ask for prayer requests every Thursday. Thursday is the day most families gear up for the weekend. They’re getting prepped because right after school on Friday they are headed to the ballpark/gym/interstate for travel.
Thursday morning would be an excellent day to ask for prayer requests from the family that’s going to be away from church that Sunday.
How are you doing spiritually this week?
How can I pray for you specifically?
Are there any families you’re hoping to have a faith conversation with this weekend?
Are there any kids your son/daughter has been praying for?
Then, have some scripture you’re already praying over them and encourage them with that. Simply say, “Know that I’m praying for all of that and I’m specifically praying Ephesians 2:10 over you: “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” I believe God has prepared good works for you this weekend and I’m praying He helps you walk in those.”
I cannot even explain how much this would impact a family who is sincerely trying to follow Jesus, reach the lost in the community, and feels the sadness of being gone from their church family.
That mom or dad could then turn around and share that verse with their kids on the way to the tournament. “So&so is praying this for us. Be on the lookout for good works that God might have prepared for you this weekend.”
Finally, go to their games. Can I tell you a secret? I can get into a spiritual conversation at almost any time with almost anybody I talk to. How is that possible? Well, I’m a minister. All I have to say is, “I’m a minister in town, do you go to church anywhere here?” And off we go.
Now, I have to be wise in how I start/present that conversation, but it’s true. I’m able to get into a lot of spiritual conversations. The reason is simple, once I tell people I’m a minister they almost expect a spiritual conversation. It would be weird if the pastor didn’t bring up God in some way.
The problem is, most these families who are at the tournaments every weekend don’t have “an easy in” like ministers do. Most work a non-vocational ministry job and bringing up something spiritual would be totally unexpected by the other party. This is where the church can really step in and be the church.
When Jesus sent out his disciples to minister to new towns, how did he send them? Two-by-two.
What if someone from the church — a pastor, small group leader, or just another church member — came to the tournament on Saturday to be with the family and be intentional with the non-believers on that team?
They could come and learn names, faces, and stories. They could come and give the family “an easy in” and say, “This is Susie, they go to our church. It’s First Baptist Church. We really hate being gone on Sundays but it’s great and encouraging to have friends come and hang with us throughout the weekend.”
That simple statement will do a few things.
It automatically establishes that family as the “Christian family” within the travel sports team which will invite future spiritual conversations.
It will show the non-believers that there is real and genuine community within First Baptist Church. This is something most people in general are lacking, and even more so parents of kids who are involved heavily in sports. Most families know the other families on a surface (sports) level but few could say they have genuine community within their teams.
It will give an opportunity for a non-risk Spiritual conversation. Imagine a conversation developing with Susie (our church friend from earlier) and one of the other moms on the team.
Susie says, “Yes! We love First Baptist Church. It’s been great for our family and all of us have grown a lot spiritually. Do you have a church you go to when you’re not here at the ballpark?”
This could open the door for a few things:
The sports mom Susie is talking to may have a church home, which then would allow for a Christian community to start developing within the team.
The sports mom may confess to not having a church home, but show interest in coming to First Baptist Church — which would lead to an invite.
The sports mom could be standoffish to the question BUT, because Susie asked, and not the church parent Susie was coming to hangout with, the relationship between the church parent and the sports mom remains in tact — opening the door for future conversations if sports mom changes their mind.
Are you tracking? Because it feels like I’ve taken this hypothetical conversation a little far. I’ll reign it back in.
Finally, this could open up a wellspring of spiritual conversations to happen on the team.
All of that is to say, when the church shows up to help the family at the tournament live on mission, it’s always a win. There’s community, the opportunity for spiritual conversations, and and overall sense that First Baptist Church cares about what happens at the ballpark every weekend.
There is a lot here. There’s a lot I suggested. It would take a lot of intentional work to be done by the church — whether that be a pastor, small group leader, or random church member. But as I wrap up there’s a verse that’s coming to mind.
Watch out, brothers and sisters, so that there won’t be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage each other daily, while it is still called today, so that none of you is hardened by sin’s deception.
— Hebrews 3:12-13 (CSB)
Within the church body, we have a mutual responsibility to one another to “encourage one another” so that we may not have hard or unbelieving hearts and fall away from God. This will take a lot of hard work, but it will also be worth it.
My advice to those of you who get frustrated every spring with the mass exodus of families within your church, ask yourself the question: How can I come alongside one of those families and encourage them daily? Most of the families you may find yourself frustrated with don’t want to fall away from the faith either.
And you know who else doesn’t want them to fall away? The Lord. And the same Holy Spirit — who is the Lord (2 Corinthians 3:18) — that lives in them, lives in you. That Holy Spirit will give you everything you need to encourage these families because that Holy Spirit knows exactly what those families need.
Like I said earlier, next week I’ll be sharing my personal opinion about the matter at hand.
Have a great week.
Photo by Austin Kehmeier on Unsplash
Great suggestions here.