The Travel Ball/Church Dilemma

A few days ago I had a phone call with a mom of boys playing travel baseball. She’s a church-goer who is quite active in the church and her boys are quite active in the youth ministry. Now that the Spring season is getting started, tournaments and practices will inevitably pull them out of the weekly rhythm of church activities.

If you have kids in the age range of travel sports you know how difficult of a decision this mom has on her plate.

Does she pull her kids out of church to the detriment to their faith practices but benefit to their athletic goals and friendships?

Does she pull her kids out of sports to the benefit of their faith practices but the detriment of their athletic goals and friendships?

And how does the desire to reach lost people (who wouldn’t go to church whether a tournament was happening or not) in the community and on their team impact the decision?

The decision is compounded knowing that no matter what she decides, one party will be silently judging her for her decision. Would she rather be judged by the other baseball moms who now believe she thinks she’s “holier than thou.” Or would she rather be judged by the church folks for letting her kids be out of church?

One day, she’ll look back and have a clear view on what she should have done, but right now the decision is difficult.

You may be thinking, “The decision isn’t difficult, she needs to have those boys in church!”

Think about it this way… there’s not a parent out there that doesn’t realize iPhones have a negative effect on children. But how often do we give children phones? And why do we do it? The social pressure is intense.

So instead of writing off the travel sports and Sunday morning dilemma as an obvious fix, let’s realize it rests in a grey area fueled with social pressures from every direction.

Now, parents of kids who are on teams traveling almost every Sunday and you feel the tension, what do you do? How do you help your kids continue in the faith even though you may not be at church on Sunday?

I’ve written down a few thoughts that I think could help.

First, let your kids in on how you are processing this decision. Your kids need to know you’re experiencing some tension and uncertainty. They need to know you’re not making these decisions lightly. And they need to know that you know you may be wrong in your decision to not attend church on Sunday.

If not, consider what the kids see. They see a mom and/or dad who are willing to drop church with no issues. They see the sport as the “unchallenged priority” in the family.

They need to know this isn’t an easy decision for you. So how do you do that? Well here’s a few bullet points.

• Have a family meeting and be honest about your uncertainties

• Communicate clearly that the decision to miss church for sports may not be a forever decision

• Ask your kids to pray for you to have wisdom and discernment to do what is good and right

• Pray as a family and in that prayer, confess to God you’re not sure if you’re doing the right thing and ask God for wisdom and discernment

When you open up to your kids, in humility, and, as a family, ask God for wisdom and discernment you are teaching your kiddos all kinds of valuable truths about God being Lord of our lives.

Second, prioritize worship in another way. Maybe you miss your home church’s service, but on Sunday morning can you make a playlist of 2-3 songs and bring the family into the living room and sing those together? Yes, you can.

It may be awkward at first because, well, what teenage boy wants to sing songs with his family? But here’s what you’re doing when you fight to worship together in this way: you’re setting the clear precedent that God gets our worship.

The problem with not going to church on Sundays primarily has to do with our worship.

We are created to worship - to worship God. Sunday morning is when we gather corporately to worship God. Our bodies, minds, souls, and spirits have gotten accustomed to this reality: Sunday morning is worship time. By default (my theory), whatever we do on Sunday mornings is what we are going to end up worshipping.

Do you go out for brunch on Sunday mornings with friends? You’ll likely end up with an idol of friends and community.

Do you value slow Sunday mornings you can work in the yard? You’ll likely end up wondering if everyone in the neighborhood notices your yard because it’s the thing you care about most.

The risk we run when missing church for sports is that we end up worshipping that sport. The sport competes with God, not just on our schedules, but in our souls.

So if you find yourself in a position of missing Sunday morning church, it needs to be the utmost priority to find a way to worship.

Next, prioritize family Bible reading. Alongside worship needs to be the prioritization of family Bible reading. Maybe it’s Sunday morning, maybe it’s Sunday night. Either way, be in the Word together. Read a passage together and discuss it.

You could elect to pick a book in the Bible to go through or you could simply pick the passage your pastor is preaching through that Sunday. Either way, get Bible conversation going.

Both the worship and Bible reading times will be difficult. How much spare time do you actually have in a week to do something like this? I know you’re busy. I know you don’t think your kids will want to. But it’s worth it.

Here’s a quick sample of how you can do this in less than 30 minutes as a family.

1. Bring everyone together and open in prayer.

2. Turn on your pre-set playlist. (Pick 2 songs everyone would know because you won’t have lyrics available.)

3. Pray and thank God for the ability to worship at home and confess you are sad you’re missing corporate worship at church.

4. Read Bible passage. (I recommend starting with Psalm 1.)

5. Ask these 4 questions for discussion.

   1. What stands out to you about this passage?

   2. What does this passage teach us about God?

   3. What does this passage teach us about us?

   4. What action steps do we need to take in light of this passage?

6. After the discussion do prayer requests and pray.

Like I said, this may be awkward at first, especially if you’ve never done anything like it. But you can lean into that awkwardness like this:

“I know this is different and we’ve never done this. It may be awkward for just the family to sing songs together. It’s awkward for me too. But because we’re missing church, it’s important for us to find a time to worship and read the Bible. For the next 30 minutes let’s give this try and it’ll be more normal for us next time.”

Next, actually prioritize mission. When you are out at a ballpark on Sunday morning there’s probably a whole host of people who wouldn’t be going to church even if there wasn’t a tournament. Which means you’re probably around more non-Christian’s at that point than any other time in your week.

God has placed you in their midst to introduce them to Him. Do whatever it takes to learn how to share your testimony, the Gospel, how to introduce faith into the conversation, and how to disciple people.

It’s easy to say we want to live on mission and reach people, but the only way we actually will is if we actually know how. Competence brings confidence, and that’s especially true when it comes to faith conversations with nonbelievers.

On the way to the ballpark with your kids spend some time praying for a few specific families that you’re trying to introduce to Jesus. Say to your kids: If you look up in the stands and see me talking to ______ please pray for me because I’m planning on talking to them about Jesus.

These practices will help the entire family think missionally on Sunday mornings.

Next, find do your research ahead of time and find a local church in the city you’re playing in. Bonus points if that local church has multiple service time options.

It’s been said, “Sunday morning church attendance is a Saturday night decision.” Well, for the travel ball parents out there, Sunday morning church attendance is a Thursday evening decision.” You need to know the church plan before you get to the weekend.

Don’t worry about the fact this isn’t your home church. You and your family need to prioritize corporate worship, no matter how that happens.

Finally, actually watch online. In the midst of a busy weekend it’s easy to turn the worship service on and have it playing in the background. Fight the temptation to do that.

Here’s how I would encourage you to approach watching online:

Plan a time to watch when the tournament is over.

Pray before you get started.

Pray when the service is over.

Unless you win the tournament, you’ll be home for supper. Plan a post-supper worship service in your home.

Yes you have a lot to do to get ready for the week, but this will be worth it.

You will need to spend sometime praying beforehand and simply confessing to God, “God, we have a lot to do before tomorrow morning. Will you help us stay focused during this service?”

During the online service, fight the temptation to do anything else. Don’t even respond to texts!

Then, finish with praying together as a family before you get started with all the tasks you need to accomplish.

Watching online is a drudge sometimes but when it’s your only option, prioritize it with all you’ve got.

As we wrap up here, it’s important to remember one thing. Our goal is to raise kids who love Jesus. There are so many competing “loves” out there. Sports, money, stuff, popularity. Cultivating a home that promotes loving Jesus needs to be the priority of parents. This is a tough task, but it’s worth it.

As you consider everything above, remember this. Your kids will be able to tell if you’re doing these practices because you love Jesus or if you’re doing them because they “seem like the right thing to do.” The best way to cultivate a love for Jesus in your home is to cultivate a love for Jesus in your own heart, first.

Next week we’ll take a look at how the church can come alongside parents and families who find themselves traveling often. Be sure to subscribe to get it right in your inbox.

See you next Wednesday.

Photo by Tyson Moultrie on Unsplash