The Verse That Ended It All

I'm processing here.

Fun fact: I started enjoying baseball again. So that’s nice.

If you’ve been here for any length of time, you've maybe heard pieces of the story I’m about to share. If you need to check out, that’s fine.

But truly, I need to externally process on this one.

This scene takes place on a paper route on January 12th, 2015, at 3 am. I was working an extra job to “save” money so that I could potentially play professional baseball again. This was my day-to-day schedule:

1:00 am - Wake up & go to work at paper route
6:00 am - Finish work at paper route
8:00 am - Train/workout for baseball
12:00 pm - Finish workout and go home to eat lunch & maybe nap
3:00 pm - Do pitching/hitting lessons
8:00 pm - Finish pitching/hitting lessons
10:00 pm - Try to be asleep
1:00 am - Wake up & go to work….

Our church was focusing in on 21-days of prayer and fasting and really emphasized the fasting component that year. I knew that fasting from food wouldn’t be wise because of my lack of sleep and rigorous schedule so I fasted from social media and music while I was doing the paper route.

Don’t judge me…

but I would scroll on social media for almost the entire 2-3 hours I was driving around our city delivering papers.

There was rarely anyone on the road, so I was fine. Although I did get pulled over by a drunk guy one time because I had a taillight out, and he was concerned for me—yes, you read all of that correctly.

So, instead of music and social media, I devoted myself to listening to scripture. For those 21 days, it was either silence or scripture.

On January 12th, my world changed.

I can remember the entire scene like it was yesterday. It’s etched into my mind and I hope I never forget it.

I was listening to Proverbs 12 when this verse came through my headphones:

Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread,
but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense.
—Proverbs 12:11

At that very moment, the Holy Spirit yelled, “STOP!”

When I say yelled, I actually mean it. It was so clear to me that I needed to stop that I slammed on my brakes and looked around me to see if someone was around. Does that imply I think God speaks audibly? I don’t know? Does it make me excessively charismatic? I don’t know? Neither of those are the point of this thing so stay with me.

So I slammed on my brakes, put my car in park, and tried to figure out what the heck was going on. As I came to a full stop the Holy Spirit directed my attention back to this verse. I had hardly noticed it the first time, but there was a word God wanted to speak to me in Proverbs 12:11.

Here I was in the middle of our city, in the middle of the night, in the middle of the road, chasing my long-standing dream of playing professional baseball. I was 23 years old and a shell of what I used to be with my baseball skills. I was depriving my wife and family of the full me because I was either a) not present/working all the time or b) not present/very sleepy.

The Holy Spirit illuminated the verse:

…he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense.

The illumination brought a deep understanding within me that I was a man who lacked sense. At some point, my dream had turned into a fantasy—a worthless pursuit.

I shed tears.

While I’m writing this, I shed tears.

In a moment everything I had ever known was now finished.

When the Holy Spirit said, “STOP!” He wasn’t only talking about my vehicle. He was talking about the worthless pursuit I was chasing. The dream that had turned into a fantasy.

I went home, told my wife I was officially finished with professional baseball (which meant I would stop training so I could potentially play again), and quit my paper route job.

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It’s taken me a while to recover.

This is a quick aside, but I do want to report that I enjoy watching baseball again. I found myself excited to watch an opening day game this year and I want to watch more. So that’s fun!

For years I couldn’t watch because I was heartbroken over the “loss of my dream.”

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The question we all need to ask…

Proverbs 12:11 is worth repeating here:

Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread,
but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense.
—Proverbs 12:11

The second half of the verse warns against following worthless pursuits which means the first half of the verse implies that when we “work our land” we are following worthwhile pursuits.

So let me ask you this question, and it’s the same question I’ve been reflecting on this week…

What is your worthwhile pursuit?

Jesus is our ultimate, worthwhile pursuit. We seek Him and His Kingdom.

Alongside that, what has He set before you as worthwhile? Worthwhile to do with your time, your money, your skills, your resources, your family, your life?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to lack sense all my life.

I want to work the land God has given me. I want to be a faithful steward. I know you do, too.

Sometimes, like my situation, we can get caught up in “doing what we’ve always done” and forget to ask God—is this pursuit still worthwhile? Or has it shifted over into something worthless?

If you ask, and seek Him, I’m confident He’ll give you an answer.

I’ll see you next week,

Brandon

Photo by Joshua Woroniecki on Unsplash