The Making of Me
The God & experiences that have made me.
I stand firm on a conviction that everyone is made by something.
As a Christ follower and Bible believer, I believe God made us all. I believe He uniquely designed us for His glory. He knit us together in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139) and He gave us all our strengths, and our weaknesses, to maximize the glory He will receive from our lives (John 9:1-3).
But even beyond creation — I believe this is true about our formation and growth as well. God is the one that’s ultimately shaping us into the type of person He wants us to be. He uses success, failure, suffering, glory. He uses people, friends, family, foes. He uses jobs, career changes, transitions, job losses.
He uses it all.
If I may, I want to give you a brief overview of what has made me.
My goal is to point out how God used certain circumstances and situations in my life to shape me into the person I am today that follows Him and seeks His presence.
The Early Days & Religious Background
I grew up in Arkansas with a great family. Both parents, 3 siblings, and a whole host of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins in the area.
I was the firstborn and oldest cousin on my mom’s side but younger than the two cousins on my dad’s side.
Pretty early on my world was consumed with sports. I watched Sportscenter on repeat when I was indoors but pretty much spent most of my time outside with a basketball, football, or baseball (& bat). I had some neighborhood friends that would have a game, of some kind, going almost every day.
I grew up going to the Catholic Church in town with my family. I went through all the classes and milestones and was ultimately confirmed as a member of the church sometime in High School. Even though I went through all the classes and made it a priority to be at church when sports weren’t interfering I wouldn’t say I had a strong desire to know or follow God.
Going to church and being a good kid was mostly just part of what I did — the same way that going to school and playing sports was part of what I did.
Even though I wasn’t particularly set on following Jesus I’m grateful for my background in church. I grew up with these three foundational beliefs:
God loved people.
Jesus died on the cross.
I was pretty messed up.
For the life of me, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you how those three things worked together or why they were ultimately significant for me, but I was aware of those three truths. The latter didn’t develop until late in my high school years. Until I was a senior in high school I would have described myself as a pretty moral and good person.
Nevertheless, as I entered my teenage years my life started to get a little out of wack.
I was becoming very good at baseball and ended up traveling a lot to play in tournaments. Travel baseball then is not what travel baseball is now so we didn’t miss a lot of Sunday’s or Wednesday’s at church but it was clear I had developed into the type of person that would make sports (& specifically baseball) a priority over everything when given the opportunity.
My dream was always to be a professional baseball player. I was the kid writing, “Professional Baseball Player” when the 3rd grade teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we grew up.
As I turned 13, 14, and 15 it appeared that my dreams weren’t just fantasy, but could be a reality one day.
I wouldn’t have been able to pinpoint what was going on then, but I can now. There was an unsettledness in my spirit throughout my teenage years. I experienced some mild depression at times, lots of anger, and tried to find my contentment in relationships. I wouldn’t have described myself as a happy person or a very outgoing person. I was shy and often very slow to speak.
It’s interesting to look back on because it seems clear to me now. Well before God invaded my life and saved me it’s clear He was working to get my attention and soften my heart.
When Life Started To Change
That became even more evident one night during a high school baseball game.
I was pitching — probably with professional scouts in the stands — and I got hurt. It was my own doing, frustratingly. I gave up a home-run to the previous hitter and, in my anger (like I said earlier, I had problems in this area), I was doing too much to the next hitter and hurt my arm.
It was the first time I experienced an injury mid-game. I didn’t know what would happen next.
After the game I went off by myself and God broke through.
Remember the three things I knew from my background in church?
God loved people.
Jesus died on the cross.
I was pretty messed up.
The first one comes into play here. I knew that God loved people. So why would a guy like me get hurt? As I said earlier, I would have described myself at this point as a pretty moral and good guy. So why did God let the good guy with lots of potential get hurt?
I know I was asking Him that question. I know it because I know He responded. God spoke plainly to me and said:
“You’re not where you need to be.”
—God
No, it wasn’t a loud thunder in the sky and the clouds didn’t split. But God spoke to me out in left-center of our practice field.
If you had asked me what made me a Christian a week before this encounter with God I would have said, “Because I go to church and do the right things.” So after the encounter with God I only knew of one thing to do, “Go to church more and do more of the right things.”
So that’s what I did.
I made my best effort at reading the Bible, praying, and being an overall more moral person (it’s at this time I start to realize how messed up I actually am.)
That carried on through my freshman year at college. I went to the University of Arkansas and joined the Bible Study in the locker room. It’s there I met the FCA Director.
We sat down one day and he shared the Gospel with me. God used him to connect the three truth’s I knew from earlier.
God loved people.
Jesus died on the cross.
I was pretty messed up.
He used Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
—Romans 6:23
I wasn’t just messed up — my sin meant I deserved death.
And Jesus didn’t just die on the cross — His death on the cross meant a free gift of salvation from the deserved death.
And God didn’t just love people — He loved me.
The dots connected. My eyes were opened. I understood Jesus and gave my life to Him.
Growth & Maturity in Christ
After that moment I was discipled by a group of faithful mentors. I wouldn’t be who I am today in ministry if it were not for those guys.
They taught me how to read the Bible, how to pray, how to share the Gospel, and how to seek first the Kingdom of God.
About 6 months later I met Jackie (my now wife) and she was leaps and bounds more spiritually mature than I was. She taught me so much about what it meant to follow Jesus as a college student and love God’s word.
My Baseball Career
I believed in Jesus my freshman year in college, which was 2010.
I played baseball at the University of Arkansas from Spring of 2011-2013.
In 2013 I was drafted to play professional baseball for the Milwaukee Brewers. I played with them in Arizona, Helena, MT., and Appleton, WI. for 2 seasons. It was in my third season (my second Spring Training) that I had to retire because of an elbow injury.
And honestly, nothing could have prepared me for the moment I walked away from baseball for good. I “retired” in 2015 with the intent to play again once healthy. I “retired” because my wife lived in Arkansas and I lived in Arizona. I was making a couple hundred bucks a week so us seeing each other wasn’t an option.
When I got back to Arkansas in May 2015 I trained twice as hard as I ever had before. I got as strong as ever, healthy as ever, and invested more time into training than ever.
In January 2016 I began throwing again (after recovering from the elbow injury) and:
I still had pain
I couldn’t throw accurately
I couldn’t throw hard
I saw the writing on the wall but I still had a hard time letting go.
At the time I was doing working as a newspaper delivery guy to make some extra money so each night at 1:00am I would hop out of bed and head to the shop. Our church was leading us through a season of prayer and fasting from January 1st-January 21st and I decided to fast from — get this — “being on my phone while driving at night.”
I would typically scroll social media, listen to music, or watch YouTube videos while delivering the papers (and yes, I know that’s unsafe.)
So the Lord convicted me to fast from that during the 21 days and either:
be in silence or
listen to scripture.
It was on January 12th at dang near 3:00 in the morning that God broke through again with His Word.
“The one who works his land will have plenty of food, but whoever chases fantasies lacks sense.”
—Proverbs 12:11 (CSB)
As I heard those words I heard the Spirit say, “Stop!”
The “Stop!” was so clear in my spirit that I literally stopped the car thinking something was wrong. When I figured out it was God speaking to me I re-listened to the Proverb and the Spirit gripped me.
I knew the “Stop!” meant, “Stop chasing fantasies!”
I just sat there.
The Spirit was right. My career was over. Deep down I knew it. The people around me knew it. I just didn’t want to admit it. The Spirit wouldn’t let me continue chasing a fantasy.
I went finished my route that morning, went home, and woke my wife up with the news.
Me: I’m finished with trying to play professional baseball. The Spirit convicted me and told met to stop.
Jackie: Does that mean you can stop doing the paper route now?
I laugh — and cry — even as I write these words today. That moment was an explosion of emotions. It was a chapter — a life — coming to an end. It was a moment something new was beginning.
It blows my mind how awesome my wife is and has been. Professional baseball is a rollercoaster lifestyle. She was with me through it all. Retiring sent me into all sorts of emotions. She was with me through it all. The years that followed my “real” retirement were ugly. She was with me through it all.
The Years That Followed
In the years that followed I wrestled through what seemed like never-ending anxiety, depression, and brokenness.
I had no direction for my life (I was even told by a personality/gift/strengths test that I should be a Midwife — I’ll share that story one day.).
By God’s grace, He gave me direction when He called me into ministry later in 2016.
I joined a school of Ministry program at our home church in 2016 and then went into full-time ministry with a mentor of mine in 2017. Right before the pandemic in 2020 we moved to North Carolina and spent a year and a half at a church in Charlotte before moving to Conway, Arkansas. It’s there that I’ve been the Baptist Collegiate Ministry Director since June 1, 2021.
It’s in Conway that my wife and I also welcomed twin daughters into the world!
On June 3, 2024 I’ll step into a Dean of Spiritual Development role at Shiloh Christian School in NWA.
Even though God gave me direction and faithfully directed our steps, it didn’t make things easy. I carried the baggage and brokenness with me through my first several years in marriage and in ministry. I’m certain I handled a lot of situations poorly as a result.
My Family
You may have picked up on this by now because I’ve already talked about my family at times but I have the best family.
I married my wife, Jackie, in 2013. Our wedding day is also her birthday. Day one of our marriage was the day she turned 22. I was 21. By today’s standards we were married very young but I can say without hesitation that I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s been good. All of it. It’s been holy. And it’s been exactly what God wanted for both of us.
It took us a while to have children but in November 2022 God gave us twin daughters, Hattie and Priscilla.
I love being a dad. I love watching my wife be a mom. I love watching my girls grow.
Healing
God says in His Word:
Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.
—1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
Over the last 8 years I can testify to one thing: God is faithful.
I’m confident that God gets the most glory out of His people when they live healed in this broken world. I’m confident of that because of how relentless He’s been about leading me into healing.
He’s used my wife, the preaching of His Word, my daily quiet times, counseling, friendships, and lots of tears. He’s used all sorts of things to bring me to healing.
And if I could boil it down, that’s really why I write. I want people to experience the same healing I’ve experienced. Not everyone has been a professional baseball player and lost everything at 25 but everyone has experienced impactful loss. Loss hurts.
Almost every day I find a new area of my soul, spirit, and mind that needs healing. God is faithful like that. Healing isn’t a one time event. Walking with Him isn’t a one time decision. He opens our eyes to where we need Him and He leads us to step into those spaces with faith. So that’s what I’m doing these days. I’m living by faith by stepping into the spaces I need God the most.
My experiences in my family, the Catholic Church, baseball, with my wife, my daughters, and in ministry have all shaped me. As I reflect, I see God’s hand in it all. Not only did He design me uniquely, He’s used my experiences to shape me into who I am today.
I believe God has helped me understand what it means to have an abundant life and live out that life on a daily basis. Much of what I have learned has come through suffering and loss. Articles and reflections I share here will come from that place — the place of life.
—Brandon