Be Generous with your Encouragement

Do you remember the last random encouragement you received?

I’m talking about when someone comes up to you and they point out something really specific that you’ve been doing well and how that specific thing has encouraged them. Have you experienced that recently?

Not because you’re fishing for compliments or because you even did anything necessarily worthy of encouragement in that moment. I’m talking a completely random piece of encouragement from a friend who has noticed your consistent and encouraging behavior from afar.

Maybe you’re someone fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of such a conversation within the last week or so but my bet is you don’t remember the last time you were encouraged like that.

Moments like this seem few and far between.

We work hard, grind ourselves to the bone, and it seems like no one’s noticing.

We wonder if our work is even appreciated. We wonder, would they even notice if I stopped doing the things I’m doing? Why am I even doing this if no one is even noticing?

Yet we keep going. Day after day. Week after week. Year after year.

For some people, there’s a realistic chance that they have not received a genuine piece of encouragement from a friend in years. Maybe you are that person.

If so, I want to say I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that you find yourself in a place that you’re unsure if people even notice the work you do. Very rarely do people set out to do work that’s unnoticeable. Most people have a deep desire to do life-changing things. Something in us wants to do work that matters — that has significance. But somehow we get stuck in the cycle of doing things that don’t seem to matter to others.

Now, I don’t want to belittle your thoughts of insignificance about yourself. But can I let you in on a little secret? Almost every everyone around you feels that same way.

You’re not alone.

In our society today, we are the most lonely we’ve ever been. We are the most connected we’ve ever been through social media apps, but we are the loneliest we’ve ever been on a real, relational, level.

I believe the reason we feel that way is because we don’t think people notice us. We know they know us, but we’re not sure they notice us.

It’s not uncommon for a group of 10 friends to get together to talk about the latest news, weather, and sports only to leave that time feeling less connected than ever. Why? Because the news, weather, and sports have nothing to do with us as individuals. We don’t have to notice anything about someone when we talk about surface level topics. We can have a 30 minute conversation about the most recent news with someone at the local cafe and not even learn their name.

As a result, isolation and loneliness spreads like wildflower. And like the nasty virus it is, we end up a society infected with discouragement — feeling like we know everyone but no one notices us.

So what do we do?

We create a new culture.

What if every time you saw one of your friends over the next month you decided to point out something you’ve noticed about them that’s positive?

I’m not necessarily talking about their haircut, the clothes they are wearing that day, or their nice new car.

I’m talking about the way they are gentle with their speech, or they are patient with people, or that they are kind of strangers, or that what they had to say in Bible study was really encouraging, or that you can tell they are a good listener, or that you notice them working hard to provide for their kids, or that you notice them working hard to care for their aging parents.

I’m talking about things that have to do with their character and Christ-likeness.

What if, this Sunday, you encouraged the person who shows up late every week by saying, “I’m proud of you for making it a point to be at church every week. Life gets really busy sometimes and sometimes it’s hard to prioritize church. I’m really proud of you and notice you working hard to make it a priority in your life.”

A statement like that could change their entire life. You never know, they may have shown up late that day, thinking, “I might as well stop coming if I’m gonna be late every week. These people are probably judging me anyway.”

Each time we dish out random encouragement we are doing our part to build the foundation of an encouraging culture.

An encouraging culture is often an “others-focused” culture. Most of us are probably more familiar with a “me-focused” culture — the culture of not noticing others and the value they bring to the world.

Without realizing it, every time we leave a conversation dwelling on how discouraged we are someone else didn’t notice us, we contribute to the “me-focused” culture. We focus our attention on our discouragement and without realizing it miss opportunities to be encouraging to someone else.

We can’t be encouraging to others and focused on ourselves at the same time.

If we want to set a new precedent in our families, churches, work places, and any other space we find ourselves in we need to be people who build a new culture. We need to build an encouragement culture. As it turns out, this is biblical.

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

—1 Thessalonians 5:11

Paul is writing to the Thessalonians and gives them a command — encourage one another and build one another up.

If you’re a Christian, this is one of the many commands God has placed on your life. Meaning, none of us are free to blame our lack of encouragement on our personality.

This was my go-to for many years. “I’m not extroverted so going up to someone randomly isn’t my personality.” However, God’s commandments override our personality. Encouragement and building one another up should be part of all of our lives — even the introverted.

The Thessalonians had built this into their culture. They were encouraging, they were building one another up. Imagine if Paul was a fly on the wall at your church, home, or workplace. Would he be able to encourage you the same way he encouraged the Thessalonians?

Based on how lonely and isolated we are as a society, I would bet not.

We must create a new culture. And guess what? You are a culture maker.

Start today to create a new culture of encouragement in the places you frequent. While it’s not guaranteed, my bet is that in a few short weeks you’ll start to see a massive shift.

• People will notice one another

• People will be kind to one another

• People will smile more

• People will be more excited to be there

• We will be more encouraged than we ever thought we could have been

Establishing an encouragement culture will mean that we ourselves reap the benefits of that culture. We sow seeds of encouragement, we reap the harvest of encouragement.

So, one final exhortation before I sign off.

Instead of hoping someone notices the work you do this Sunday — notice the work someone else does then tell them how encouraging it is. Then do it again. And again. And again. You’ll be surprised how quickly you start to receive the same type of words of encouragement.

See you next Wednesday.

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